If you loved me, you would…
Oh, what a dangerous phrase. It’s a phrase that can hold two people hostage in a relationship far beyond the expiration date…and a phrase that can destroy a perfectly fabulous and potentially long-lasting partnership. It’s a phrase that, even when removed from our vocabulary, can sneak into our thoughts when we aren’t ever vigilant.
And even if you don’t use it, your well-meaning friends might:
If he really loved you, he would introduce you to his friends and family.
If he really loved you, he would want to move in.
If he really loved you, he would ask you to marry him.
It’s a phrase based on expectations…and a phrase that encourages irrelevant generalities. Every human being is unique and complex, and every relationship is a constantly evolving microbiome of insecurities, traumas, passions, and bleeding hearts.
It’s a phrase that’s hard to escape when you’ve been raised on a diet of Disney fairytales and happily-ever-after rom-coms. But it’s an entirely mathematical phrase that has no place in the flow and flux of the relationship sphere. Keep on reading…